The monster in the paper bag

Which memories do you decide to write first? As hard as you try to retrace your memories, there isn’t a valid way to catalogue your memories in chronological order. Tonight’s memory isn’t anything too spectacular, but it’s one of my earliest memories of my mom.

I was around 3-years old at the time. We hadn’t moved out of our Essex home. From the outside, it wasn’t anything spectacular. A one car garage on the right, stairs led up to the front door. It was a small house for 7 people, and for me this was my first home.

On this day, my mom and I went to a local seafood store that was down the road from us. I really didn’t like walking. Mainly because my stubby legs and tiny feet could only cover so much ground. I also just wanted to be carried by my mom.

We walked home from the seafood store with Mom carrying a large paper bag. I must have been a very energetic child because at one point, we had to stop along a stonewall so Mom could catch her breath. Mom needed both hands to carry the paper bag, and I wanted her to carry me instead. Or at least play with me. Or hold my hand. That’s when the paper bag moved. Something was still alive inside. I no longer wanted Mom to carry me. I just fixated my eyes on this large package Mom held, and before I could even think of what lurked inside, a red claw tore through the paper like nothing! I must have gone crazy because a second claw followed! Both claws waved around the air, each held down tightly with blue rubber bands. My mom was carrying a monster. She must have been so brave. I don’t think I wanted my mom to carry me next to such a beast.

Finding a voice among strangers

For quite some time, I’ve wanted to write a blog to keep track of my childhood memories. I haven’t yet decided why I chose a blog as my medium. One friend suggested I do a v-blog, but I’m not that comfortable in front of the camera. I have also wondered why even share my personal story with the world instead of just recording everything in a diary for my personal reflection. I do tend to keep this blog a secret from friends and personal family, and I feel that will help me find a way to write these short memoirs. To be honest, I have a very difficult time sharing these stories with anyone, even to my closest of friends. Maybe by writing to complete strangers, I will have an outlet to share my voice.

I’m not sure the frequency of when I’m going to publish something. Right now, I can only remember a few things very vividly, so I may only publish a memory once every two weeks. In between that time, however, I will try to post something unrelated to my memories. It might be personal thoughts, opinions, or ideas. I will try at least once a week to update something. Since it is Monday night, I plan to bring something to this blog on a Monday before I sleep.